IKEA, Portugal… what a nightmare place. Well maybe not a nightmare but for a person like me who is not a big “shopping” fan, IKEA is not your dream place.
The plan was simple: Get from my crib to IKEA, buy a decent sofa and some other bits and bobs, and get back, very straightforward, right?
Before I made a move, I downloaded the directions from the Internet, got in my car and drove off. It should have been 78km there and back but since I came out of the motorway too soon, I had to make a few more looking through a way to the IKEA thing.
I finally got there and it was swarming with people, parking was difficult but I got a good spot on the G line. Got inside the building and got out of the elevator straight in front of the counters with battalions of people paying their stuff, I got a little paranoid already, found my way in and luckily enough the “tour” starts with the living rooms, so I got to try the sofa I had previously seen in the catalogue at home and it was definitely it, took a round up to see if there was anything else interesting but no it was really that one!
One was done and I had to find the other stuff, there was when the troubles started to happen, firstly got lost in the children section, I know, its stupid, but the thing looks more like a labyrinth.
After collecting all the things I was meant to buy and circulated throughout all the other section getting loads of ideas to décor other parts of my house, I finally got to the counter. I saw this one with very few people, and got immediately in line. Then I started to look around and there were just pregnant women in front and behind me, I looked up and it was this big PRIORITY LINE sign on top of it, with the symbols of pregnant women, old and disabled people. So, I was left with a dilemma, I could make a go to the counter and be expelled, with all people looking at me going like “look at that son of a b***, trying to take the place of the pregnant woman behind him”, came out of the line and be ages waiting in another counter, or pretend. First I thought of limping, but when the girl at the counter started talking to me in the way I just described I made myself of deaf, making gestures (with the few I know i gestual language) trying to explain I couldn’t hear her. I KNOW, I’M HORRIBLE!!! She apologized and started to talk very slowly and articulated, I felt really bad but couldn’t back out, it was too late. However, I reckon she wasn’t very convinced or it was just the habit because I was with my back to her stuffing down my bag and she said, here’s your receipt, I didn’t turn, not to spoil the thing, so she touched my shoulder and I turned to get the receipt.
Then I had to go and collect the sofa in another section she kindly drawn in a paper after trying to explain me where it was, and I made this blank expression she decided to make a drawing. I was feeling bad, very bad…
I thought the sofa was going to come in parts some nice boxes I could put in my car… wrong! It was a big thing, and my car is a VW Polo … not the best vehicle to take a sofa in, even one of two people. Thanks to creatures of leisure and their removable surf racks I was able to put the sofa on the roof, with a lot of effort! While I was on this complicated operation a girl was waiting to park on my spot, and I was having some trouble tying everything up, and I don’t like to be observed while in snag… well manage to get everything sorted, was 5 minutes looking for my car key that had felt below the seat and off I was! Two police cars passed by me, and I got a bit nervous, some people giving me weird looks, including this little girl on the back on her chair with an expression like “it doesn’t look right …”. Anyway, the trip home was pretty much clear-cut, arrived safely with the sofa on the top, and my mom was happy :-)